Assignment 1 – Draft 1 and 2

For Assignment 1, we were tasked to tell a story in 5 frames. I came up with 2 stories for the critique because I was unsatisfied with the first one.

Story 1

A1_Critique_Yap Yoke Ling

 

Comments:

1. The wind effect is confusing in the 2nd frame
2. Do not understand what the “ghost” effect in the 3rd frame is trying to portray
3. The transition between frames 4 and 5 is too big

Suggestions:
1. Use horizontal instead of vertical sequence
2. Create another frame between frames 4 and 5 which shows the female marshmallow jumping down

Story 2

A1_Critique_Yap Yoke Ling (new draft)

Suggestions:
1. Make the first 4 frames seems to portray the subject as if she is studying, but in the last frame, create a twist whereby she is actually reading something else in front of the notes.

2. Change the title – procrastination does not tally with the comic; frames 2-4 seems to show that she is hard at work although its meant to be procrastinating.

3. If I want to keep the title “Procrastination”, the subject should do other actions (e.g. use her phone, sleep) to portray the “procrastination”

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