Assignment 1 – Draft 1 and 2

For Assignment 1, we were tasked to tell a story in 5 frames. I came up with 2 stories for the critique because I was unsatisfied with the first one.

Story 1

A1_Critique_Yap Yoke Ling



1. The wind effect is confusing in the 2nd frame
2. Do not understand what the “ghost” effect in the 3rd frame is trying to portray
3. The transition between frames 4 and 5 is too big

1. Use horizontal instead of vertical sequence
2. Create another frame between frames 4 and 5 which shows the female marshmallow jumping down

Story 2

A1_Critique_Yap Yoke Ling (new draft)

1. Make the first 4 frames seems to portray the subject as if she is studying, but in the last frame, create a twist whereby she is actually reading something else in front of the notes.

2. Change the title – procrastination does not tally with the comic; frames 2-4 seems to show that she is hard at work although its meant to be procrastinating.

3. If I want to keep the title “Procrastination”, the subject should do other actions (e.g. use her phone, sleep) to portray the “procrastination”


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